Under the Influence
by doctorholmesintheimpala
Summary: These thoughts are disgusting, wrong, Dean could never let his little brother find out. Little did he know, Sam was having the exact same ideas, with a similar reaction; never let him find out...Their secret desires were being hidden well, until one drunken night when it began to fall apart. Perhaps for the better? Wincest. Rated M for future chapters. Set in season2 after 'Heart'.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, well this is my first fanfic, so it would be **greatly** appreciated if you could take time to review it. I am sorry for asking but I would love to know if you like it or not, and if you have any, tips to improve would be really helpful. Thanks!

**Warnings: **Wincest, mild to explicit sexual content (in later chapters) and swearing.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the supernatural characters or anything of the sort.

* * *

The ride to the bar was spent in almost complete silence, Dean couldn't stop thinking about how distraught Sam was, how he had cried so much that he couldn't hold back his own tears. _God, he must hurt so much_. Dean couldn't stop the twangs of sympathy that hit him when he looked at his younger brother's face, twisted with depression. Only once did Dean attempt to break the quiet after about 10 minutes of listening only to the low hum of the Impala.

'Look, Sam, about Madison, it'll...'

'I don't want to talk about it'

'Sammy, c'mon, let's talk. What happened back there, we tried everything, it wasn't your...'

'Dean, please, just shut it'

And Dean left it there. He figured Sam needed time with his thoughts and he was never really any good with words of comfort anyway, he'd probably make it worse, especially considering how bad of a state his brother was in. Sam was the one who had suggested they go to the bar after what happened, which was a rarity in itself so Dean only worried more.

He pulled the Chevy up outside the Wood Crow Bar. They just sat, not moving for a while, Dean staring at Sam staring out of the window, looking on the verge of tears until suddenly he stiffly opened the door and climbed out.

'Coming or what?' Sam's voice sounded gruff.

'Hell yeah'

They walked into the bar where dean ordered a Hennessey whiskey whilst Sam ordered his usual light beer. Dean eyed Sam with a look that said 'that-drink-is-so-soft-core-you-may-as-well-be-a-woman' and Sam gave his usual, Dean dubbed, 'bitch face', in return.

Dean couldn't help but notice how attractive Sam looked with his hair slightly ruffled from when his hands had been running through it with stress a fair few times during the night. Ok, so he thought Sam was hot. What? No! Of course he didn't. Well, at least that's what he said to himself. He convinced himself that his thoughts were completely out of the blue and unusual but, the truth is he had been thinking about his brother like this for a while and it was getting harder to suppress the feelings. He had often imagined pulling Sammy close and smashing their lips together, running his hands up his shirt, feeling Sam touch him... Dean quickly pushed the images to the darkest corner of his mind, turned away from Sam who was starting to feel uncomfortable under Dean's intense stare and downed the rest of his drink, which he blamed the 'sudden' outburst of strange thoughts.

'Miss, another drink please?'

'Sure thing honey'

The brunette waitress went away for a few minutes and returned with a drink for Dean. She smiled and winked at him as she set it down. He licked his lips and turned to Sam with a stupid grin but he didn't fail to notice that Sam had a strange expression. _What is that? Jealousy? Maybe? Yes, of course. He probably needs someone tonight and that cute waitress is exactly Sammy's type. _Dean knew the waitress had been flirting with him all night so probably wasn't into Sam at all, otherwise he could have her. Dean wasn't interested.

A few hours and a lot of drinks later, Sam could clearly see that Dean was pissed out of his mind. By the end of the night they had managed to talk through what happened in slurred words and had even shared a few laughs. They stayed for another hour in which Dean drank multiple drinks while Sam, feeling nauseous, stuck to Coke-a-cola.

'That's enough Dean, we should go home'

'But Shammy, we're havin' fun yeah?'

'Yes, but we need to go to the motel sometime, it's after midnight, come on before you hurt yourself'

'I'm fine Sammy'

Sam, who had sobered up slightly so that he was now only tipsy got out of his chair, dragged Dean up and turned him around getting ready to walk him to the door, he had already called a taxi. They barely made it to the Impala where they were going to wait until the taxi showed up when Dean tripped over his own feet, falling into Sam and pinning him against the car. He sharply sucked in a breath. _Damnit, why did Dean have to get so drunk and end up so close?_

'Hmm, Sammy...' He heard Dean mumble whilst feeling arms slide around his waist.

He desperately tried not to think about how he liked the feeling of Dean pressed against him way to much as he carefully lifted his brother off him, admiring his stunning looks, and settled him against the car. Sam thought his brother was beautiful and all he wanted to do in that moment was reach out to him and... _For God's sake Sam! Stop it you twisted freak_ he scolded himself. He just knew Dean would be disgusted, would probably turn away and leave, if he knew how Sam thought about him.

The taxi rolled up after what seemed like a lifetime to Sam and he shoved a sleepy Dean into the back, sat in the front next to the driver and told him the name of the motel they were staying at. The driver seemed slightly confused.

'Sure thing. But it's only down the road, ten minute walk at the most, not that I'm complaining.'

Sam, not in the mood for talking, just changed his expression to a disapproving one and coked his head to the back seat in reply, explaining that a walk that should be ten minutes would be a harsh struggle with his drunken brother. The driver seemed to suddenly understand and started the journey. They parked outside the motel and Sam shoved some change into the driver's hand, too intoxicated to bother to ask for change.


	2. Chapter 2

Miraculously, Dean wasn't as embarrassingly drunk anymore and he managed to walk to their motel room with no help, although it did take around five failed attempts to push the key into the lock, instead jabbing the door whilst muttering 'son of a bitch' before he finally succeeded. They both staggered inside, worn out. Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder and slowly slid it down to his elbow and back up; he tensed up with the contact, silently wishing for more.

'Had a good night tonight, Sam'

'Yeah, me too, I guess we don't do this very much'

'You're too busy being a nerd'

'You're too busy fucking every girl you see' Even Sam could hear the snarl in his own voice, he just hoped Dean was too drunk to pick up on it.

'Bitch!'

'Jerk'

All of a sudden, Sam felt Dean's lips crash against his own. _What the hell? _One of Dean's hands settled on his neck bringing their lips more forcibly together and the other rested on his back, pulling their bodies closer. He gasped into Dean's mouth as Dean desperately, it seemed, tried to seek entrance into Sam's mouth by running his tongue over his lips. He let Dean in immediately, sliding his own tongue over Dean's. _This is better than imagined... _He was flabbergasted as to why his older brother had, unanticipatedly, decided to shove his tongue into his mouth but he enjoyed it a million times more than he should and began to feel his pants becoming slightly tighter. _This is so wrong._

Sam was being violently pushed against the motel wall, Dean pressing his body against his and wiping all coherent thoughts from his mind before he even had the chance to figure out why Dean was doing this. Their foreheads fell together as they broke the kiss and panted onto each other's mouth.

'God, Sammy'

Sam let his hands grip onto Dean's hips and drag them towards him whilst Dean repositioned his hands to grip Sam's hair with one and push his shoulder to the wall with the other and they dove into another passionate kiss, deeper this time. Sam full on moaned when Dean nibbled on his lower lip but Sam realised he could taste the alcohol in Dean's mouth. _Shit. Dean's drunk. That's why he's doing this... He's so drunk he probably doesn't know it's me he's kissing. Damnit. _Sam knew he needed push Dean away before things got too messed up, if Dean remembered this in the morning, Sam could pretend he was just as drunk as Dean but he couldn't let this go on. _Dean would never look me in the eye again._ Sam was just about to shove Dean off when Dean moved his lip's to Sam's neck. Sam threw his head back with a gasp as Dean slowly ran his tongue up his neck to just below his jaw line, where he gave a mischievous little bite. Sam involuntarily bucked his hips into his brother as Dean tightened his grip in Sam's hair and they both moaned, loudly, when they felt their pulsating erections rub together through their jeans. For the first time, Sam realised just how aroused he was and how uncomfortably tight his jeans were, all he could think about, all he wanted was for Dean to... _Stop it now. Make him realise what he's doing._

'Dean' Sam's voice was way more breathy than he intended it to be but feeling Dean's hot breath tickle his neck made this so much more difficult. 'Dean, we're brothers. Stop!'

'Shh s'okay'

'Dean, please, get off!'

Sam grabbed Dean's shoulders and ripped him away. They stood still, Sam holding Dean at arm's length, staring at each other. A look of pure shock took over Dean's face as he realised what had happened.

'Son of a bitch! Sammy, oh god, Sam, I'm so sorry. Shit. Fucking hell, I'm so sorry god Damnit!'

'Dean, it's okay'

'Sorry, I didn't... I just, shit. I'm Sorry'

Dean was clearly panic stricken. _He's disgusted with himself. _Sam didn't expect anything less, but he still felt his gut twist. He knew Dean would be horrified when he realised and now his brother couldn't stop babbling.

'Shhh, Dean, it's okay, just get in bed'

Dean just stared blankly at Sam, looked as if he was staring right through him, deep in thought before he quickly turned got onto his bed and turned away from Sam. The lamps were switched off by Sam and he lay down on his own bed. _Never, ever let Dean get drunk again. _Sam couldn't believe he had had the will power to push Dean away when all he wanted was to let Dean touch him, but he knew he had to; Dean was so drunk he didn't know what he was doing. Sam knew Dean would regret this in the morning, but Sam could pretend he did too, could act like he was sickened by what happened like Dean would be, instead of letting on that he'd never felt so good.

_Oh god... how could I be thinking about Dean like this so soon after what happened. _Sam knew he felt awfully lonely, especially tonight after having to kill Madison... He also knew that Madison had completely escaped his mind when he was being groped by his brother. Sam just felt so angry and down all the time lately and Dean was the only person that could help him through. Even knowing this, Sam couldn't shake the feeling self loathing; moving on and forgetting so soon and all for the thoughts of fucking his brother. _I'm a terrible person._


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up with a punishing headache, Dean groaned and brought his hand up to his face to pinch the top of his nose between one of his fingers and his thumb. The sheets felt uncomfortable and scratchy and even though he'd lived his whole life sleeping in a cheap motel bed they made Dean feel even worse, so he kicked them away with what felt like a considerable amount of effort. Dean felt extremely groggy. _Fucking hell,_ _how much did I drink last night?!_ Thinking those words; 'last night', he suddenly felt wide awake. _Shit. Last night._ Dean couldn't believe what he had done. He remembered dragging his brother towards him and kissing him, then slamming him against a wall and sucking on his neck. _Oh shit. This is bad. _He remembered Sam forcing him away. _Why can't I control myself! _He felt annoyed for allowing himself to do that to his brother, who was probably never going to look at him again. But then, Dean realised that Sam had kissed him back before throwing him off, so Sam must have been even more drunk than him and not even realised for a few moments that it was Dean he was kissing. _Maybe he won't remember._ Or if he did, Dean's plan was to act as if he was just as drunk. It was true, it would have never happened if he wasn't so unbelievably drunk, he would have just wanted it to, but Sam didn't have to know that last part. _What? No. _Dean told himself that last part was a complete lie, that being under the influence of alcohol made him so horny he didn't care, nor know, who he was with.

Dean rolled over to look at Sam; just to make sure he hadn't ran off because he was disgusted with what had happened. His brother was certainly still in his bed, sprawled out, nearly covering the whole of it with his giant, Sasquatch figure. The sheets were pushed down to his topless waist. Dean stared at the rise and fall of Sam's chest, mesmerised by the muscles, wanting nothing but to get out of his own bed and into Sam's and run his hands over his chest. _When did he become so... manly? _The last time Dean had seen his brother topless, Sam was much lankier. Dean's eyes slowly moved down Sam's body, stopping when he saw the tent in the sheets. Dean didn't know how he couldn't have seen it sooner, Sam had an erection, and if Dean wasn't turned on before (which he was, slightly) he definitely was now. Dean couldn't tear his eyes away, he hadn't imagined Sam would be so big, and when Sam started to gently thrash his hips and let out quite moans and whines, Dean had lost all intentions of looking elsewhere. Sam's breathing was hard and fast and Dean realised it matched his own.

'Mmm, Dean' Sam's voice sent a twitch to Dean's genitals and a gasp escaped from his mouth.

_He's dreaming of me?..._Was Dean's first thought, which only succeeded in making himself become increasingly aroused. His second thought was much more worrying. _Oh, shit .He must be awake. Oh god, no, he's seen me staring._ Dean quickly moved his right leg up over his left in an attempt to hide his own hardness that had appeared from watching Sam as his eyes snapped up to Sam's face. Sam was without a doubt, still asleep. _Must have imagined it_. That seemed believable to Dean because his brother wouldn't be dreaming of him, but Dean certainly wanted him to.

Feeling very much like a pervert all of a sudden, and with a growing desire to relieve himself, Dean got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. He took a very long, hot shower and sorted out his problem in no time, thinking about Sam's mouth around his dick, but pretending he was thinking of a woman because, Dean convinced himself, there's no way he would think about Sam like that. _I must have woken up with an erection and not realised. _He denied that he had been aroused by Sam and put it all down to the terrible state he had woken up in for not realising. Dean locked all the thoughts he had had whilst watching Sam, away in the back his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam had woken up to the sound of the shower spewing water and whilst he was getting dressed, Bobby had called, needing their help. Sam agreed absent-mindedly, hardly even listening to Bobby. All Sam could think about was last night. _What if Dean remembers me kissing him back. _Sam knew Dean was wasted and that's why he had kissed him, probably thinking he was that fucking waitress from the bar, but that didn't stop Sam from worrying that Dean might remember Sam wasn't that drunk, and had enjoyed the kiss. _He won't remember if I was drunk or not, he won't. I'll just tell him I was just as pissed as him and we'll move on. _Sam was absolutely terrified that his brother would be too uncomfortable to talk to him. _He was drunk, he'll be so embarrassed and disgusted with himself that he won't even bring it up. _He was hopeful that that would be the way because if Dean didn't bring it up, he certainly wasn't going to.

Sam eyed Dean in his peripheral vision when he emerged from the bathroom, pulling a top over his head. He squirmed in his seat at the glimpse he caught of Dean's abs and he shifted his gaze.

'Bobby called, wants us at his, asap' Sam stood up to look at Dean.

'Okay sure, did he say what for?'

'Didn't ask'

'Alright, well come on we better get packed'

Sam felt his heart rate slow down and he was silently relieved. Dean sounded perfectly normal to Sam, he couldn't detect anything strange or uncomfortable in his words. He assumed Dean must have forgot the events of last night, or just put it down to a drunken mistake, on both parts.

They packed their stuff and got into the Impala, Dean in the driver's seat, putting Led Zeppelin on the radio.

'Aw, dude. Come on, turn it down' Sam was never a fan of Dean's taste in music, but that didn't stop Dean from listening to it relentlessly, just to torture him.

Dean responded by turning it up, full blast. Sam stared at him with anger which only resulted in Dean grinning widely at him. Sam let out a scoff, rolled his eyes, let his head fall against the seat and smirked to himself; Dean's antics secretly made him a little giddy, under the annoyance, but he would never let Dean know that.

After a few hours of driving and talking, they pulled up on the gravelly road outside Bobby's, but Bobby was stood outside waiting and when he saw them, he told them to park the car down the street outside the big house with the green door. Sam was confused but took comfort in the fact that Dean seemed to be just as befuddled. They drove for about five minutes, parked and walked back. Bobby was already setting off.

'Dude, what the hell is going on?' Dean sounded angry, his deep tone of voice made Sam's blood pulse faster.

'Sorry boys, I'll ring you later, all I'll need you to do is walk to and get in your car and keep look out on that house. When the lights start flashing ring me.'

'Bobby what's going on? Isn't that Steve Johnson's house?'

_Steve... the hunter? What? _Sam had no idea what was going on, but it looked like Dean didn't either. _Why's Bobby keeping us in the dark?_

'It was. He's dead and I've got to act fast, just do as I say boy.' Bobby was being too secretive for Sam's liking and he was suddenly furious

'Look out? We're better than that Bobby! What else can we do?' Sam didn't even try to hide the irritation in his voice.

'I know you are. God damn you two are some of the best hunters around but, this is something I have to do, okay?'

'Okay Bobby.' Sam felt Dean's hand on his elbow as he spoke 'Come on, Sam.'

'Thanks. There's beer in the fridge, help yourselves but don't get too pissed on the job.' Bobby was already walking away.

Sam followed Dean inside where he got handed a beer from the fridge.

'Dean, what the hell? Whatever this bastard is, we can help.'

'Yeah Sammy, I know but Steve was a close friend of Bobby's. We'll do as we're told and we'll stay outside that house all night just in case something goes wrong.'

'Dean, no, we...' Sam felt the need to protest but was cut off.

'Sam. Stop acting like a fucking brat. We will wait for his call and then go t the car. This is Bobby we're talking about, he's more than capable so just fucking trust him.' Sam noticed the raise of volume in Dean's voice.

'Fine.'

Sam felt extremely aggravated. _Why should I follow his orders. _He walked away, taking large swigs from his beer and flopped down on the couch. _Dean, always bossing me around like I'm still a fucking child. _Sam felt the couch move as Dean sat next to him, he looked over at Dean who was holding up a bottle of whisky with a stupid smile reaching across his face.

'Bobby has good taste, my favourite.' Dean's voice was lighter now but Sam turned away.

'Look, Sam. I know this sucks but let's just relax, might as well make the best out of a bad situation huh?'

Sam looked at his brother and decided to let it go. He took the bottle from Dean's hand and took a few large gulps, it burned his throat but he couldn't care less. He noticed Dean looking at him with a questioning expression, but apparently Dean decided to drop it and he took back the bottle and took a small sip for himself. Sam let his eyes linger on Dean's lips as he brought the bottle into his mouth and then watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed. _How does he make even drinking look sexy._ Images of the bottle in Dean's mouth being replaced with his lips, or even cock, flooded Sam's mind. He quickly snatched the bottle back and took a few more massive gulps, trying to stop himself from thinking about how hot Dean is and how much he wanted to grab him and bring their lips together.

'Woah, slow down Sam.'

Sam just shot his brother a look that said I'm-really-not-in-the-mood-for-your-crap-so-just-shut-the-fuck-up and Dean did. Sam knew he was being unreasonably awkward, but he was tired of having thoughts about fucking his brother everyday _Why am I such a freak. _Sam felt horrified with himself and scolded himself mentally when he thought back to last night, when Dean had kissed him which, in Sam's mind, was totally unfair because he had to stop it for Dean's sake when he really wanted it to go on. _I did the right thing, Dean would have drove away without glancing back. He knows I'm not as out of it when I'm drunk as he obviously is. _They spent the next few hours waiting on Bobby's call in almost complete silence, the bottle of whisky had been drunk in record time, most of it by Sam.


	5. Chapter 5

When Sam moved to look at Dean, he felt his head spin and there were two Deans in his view. Sam groaned, he felt horrible; he wasn't used to drinking so much.

'You ok?' Dean's voice sounded slurred and distant.

Sam heard a whimper, but he wasn't sure if it had come from himself or not. He watched as Dean moved closer and he felt a large hand on his shoulder, lifting him up slightly, the movement made his vision blur.

'Sam? Sam?'

Sam admired the way Dean's jaw moved when he spoke. His eyes wondered over his body, taking it all in before moving back up to his face to look at his eyes. Sam loved Dean's face, especially his eyes, he found them unbelievably arousing as they bore into him with concern. Then, almost as if he wasn't controlling himself anymore, Sam saw his hand reach up and cup Dean's face and he heard himself hum appreciatively. _Stop it Sam stop it stop it stop it. _No matter how much he willed himself to retract his hand, to get up and leave the room before he did something he would regret and Dean would surely hate him for, he wouldn't move. He just kept his hand on Dean's face, allowing his thumb to slowly stoke downwards, over Dean's lips and back up repeatedly, he just couldn't help himself, he wanted Dean so much it hurt. _Shit this isn't good_. Sam dropped his hand onto the couch and was about to get up and run, but even the thought of standing made his feel nauseous.

Before Sam knew what was happening, Dean's lips were pressed against his and Dean's hands were on his shirt, pulling Sam towards him. Sam, in his drunken state, clumsily fell onto Dean, accidently pushing him back so he was lying on top of his brother but he didn't care. He clutched at his brother's shoulders and stared to thrust his hips, rubbing their prominent erections together through their clothes and Dean brought his legs up to wrap around Sam. Their lips didn't part once and Sam sloppily sucked on Dean's lips and tongue, urgently exploring his mouth. Sam felt Dean's hand slide down and sneak under his shirt to clutch onto his hips. Sam made his hips jerk forward faster and with greater force, desperate for more friction. He let go of Dean's lips which he held in his own to pull back and look at him _Shit, you have to stop, this is wrong _but looking at Dean's eyes, filled with lust, made Sam's brain lose its reasoning. Sam dropped his head to rest next to Dean's, planting small kisses on his jaw, all the while he kept rubbing his boner against Dean's, and Dean kept on thrusting back. _I can't believe this is happening again, he's drunk, get off him! He'll never forgive you. _Sam's mind thought these thoughts over and over, he knew Dean was pissed again and alcohol seemed to make him extremely, over the top horny to the point he didn't know (or care?) who he was with, but Sam was too drunk this time and his intoxicated mind kept replacing those thoughts with Dean. Everything Dean. And he couldn't bring himself to do what is right and stop. Sam nibbled at Dean's ear, eliciting a long, loud moan from him and making him clamp down on Sam's hips and arch his back, pushing into him, and Sam's body responded by thrusting back harder than ever before as they both cried out.

In unison, as if they were both brought into reality, they stopped what they were doing when they heard the phone ring. Sam looked at Dean who was looking straight back, his expression worried.

'That's Bobby' Dean's voice sounded hoarse.

Sam slowly climbed off Dean and watched from the edge of the couch as Dean picked up his phone and mumbled some words into it, but Sam wasn't listening anymore. He didn't even listen when Dean stood up and said it's time to go. He just sat on the couch, shocked with himself._ Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. How could I let this happen? _Sam continuously berated himself as Dean glared at him, apparently not knowing what to do. _Oh god, what have I done, Dean won't get over this so easily._

Sam barely noticed when Dean grabbed him and dragged him upwards, too overwhelmed by his thoughts that Dean would leave him now. When he was standing, Sam snapped himself out it, and looked at Dean, searching his face for signs of revulsion, and felt relieved when he saw none. Sam told himself that Dean would just react like last time, that Dean would just drop it because they were both just really drunk which, unlike last time, was actually true. _It'll be fine. Dean will never know how I feel. _He reminded himself that if Dean knew he himself could get drunk enough to do that, then Dean would think Sam could too. Sam stumbled as he tried to follow Dean to Bobby's front door and Dean sighed.

'Dude, are you gonna be alright, I can do this on my own.' Dean's hand flew to the back of his neck as he looked down and Sam noticed the awkwardness in his voice. _Shit._

'I'm fine Dean, come on' Sam tried to keep the heartache inaudible.

Sam pushed past Dean and began walking down the road to the Impala with Dean quickly catching up to walk beside him in deafening silence.


	6. Chapter 6

They reached the Impala and Dean opened the passenger side door for his drunken little brother. He looked up from where he was sanding to Sam who was staring straight back with sadness spread over his features. Dean quickly averted his gaze; he didn't even want to imagine what might be running through Sam's head. Dean watched his feet as Sam practically toppled onto the seat and he walked as slowly as he could around to the other side, not wishing to be within such close proximity with Sam but still, he reluctantly ducked into the car.

Silence engulfed them; it seemed neither knew what to say. Dean shuffled in his seat, finding the awkward tension between him and Sam almost unbearable. _What have I done? I'm a monster. A pervert. This is so sick._ Dean had given up trying to pretend he wasn't attracted to Sam, but that only made his guilt and self hatred grow until he thought he might just choke on it. He couldn't dispose of the image of Sam's face when the phone rang, the look of repugnance on his face as he moved to the very edge of the couch, trying to create as much distance as possible it seemed. Dean was drowning in his thoughts _What's wrong with me? I dragged him on top of me, my own brother, and kissed him. I knew he was drunk. I knew he didn't realise what he was doing, yet, I let it go on. _Eventually, he shoved the radio onto his favorite station to push away the thoughts but it didn't seem to make much of a difference. _I took advantage. _Dean started to feel suffocated and panicked; he inhaled sharply and let his lids fall closed. The brothers hadn't talked for nearly half an hour, since... well. _It's a bloody good job Bobby called when he did... I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself. _Dean's eyes flew open when he thought about Bobby, abruptly remembering why they were here.

'uh..' Dean cleared his throat. 'We, hm, we better keep watching the house, get my cell out of the glove compartment will you Sam.' His voice got gradually quieter the more he spoke.

'Sure' Sam sounded just as racked with nerves.

Dean watched as Sam rooted through his car to find him the correct phone. When Dean took it from Sam, they accidentally brushed fingers and their eyes locked. Dean rapidly snatched away the phone and started looking through his contacts, trying to seem busy. They didn't speak again, both of them becoming more uneasy by the second, until the lights started to flicker in the house they were on look out for.

'Dean, look'

Sam's voice sounded much less slurred and Dean couldn't help but feel a bit of worry, that he always harbored when Sam got too drunk, slide away as his eyes darted the house. Sure enough, the lights were switching on and off at an alarming rate. Dean pressed the number '2' then 'call' Bobby was always in speed dial, for emergencies.

'Hey Bobby, it's started' the words fell out of Dean's mouth as a fast pace.

'Thanks boys, I'll meet you back at mine'

'You sure you don't need our help?' he tried to sound sympathetic but failed miserably; he just wanted to be doing something that might help him forget for a while.

'No, I got this'

Then the only sound coming through the phone was the long beep, signalling the other had hung up. Dean brought his phone down to his lap and stared at it for a few minutes, in a trance like state.


	7. Chapter 7

'Dean?' Sam's deep voice jolted him.

'Dean, are you ok? What's happened? It Bobby ok? Dean!' He noticed how frightened Sam seemed to be.

'Sorry, zoned out for a moment there. Everything is fine, calm your ass' Dean attempted to hide the sickening fear he was feeling from his voice.

He looked up and gave his brother the best smile he could muster after what had happened. The thoughts swirling in his mind were too much to bear, they made him feel ill, and the fact that he was still tipsy did the opposite of help the situation. Dean gave Sam a reassuring pat on the lap but realised that he had let his hand linger for more than necessary when he felt Sam tense up beneath his touch. He was about to retract his hand as fast as humanly possible but then he felt the weight of Sam's hand lying on top of his. He snapped his eyes upward to look at Sam, who was now smiling in that particular way that had Dean melting on the inside. The ache for Sam he felt started to overpower him and he leant in to rest his head on his shoulder. They sat like that for a few moments, listening to the other breathe. Dean heard Sam's breath become ragged when he first lay his head on him but he couldn't bring himself to pull away. Besides, he also heard Sam's breathing pattern gradually slow down and calm down.

'Sammy..' Dean started. He was going to apologise for his recent behaviour, but he didn't want to ruin the pure contentment he felt at this moment by bringing up the dreaded subject of what he'd done.

'Hmm? Dean, what is it?'

Dean couldn't think of a damn word to say to avoid the bitter thoughts of their eventful nights that was beginning to build up in his mind again. Instead, he decided to respond by picking his head up and moving back to his original position, away from Sam. Well, that was his plan anyway but somehow, Dean found himself getting sidetracked, right around the point after he picked up his head, looked into Sam's eyes, and attacked his lips with a passionate kiss. The rush he felt when he kissed Sam made it basically impossible to retreat. His mind was screaming at his to stop, but knowing it was Sam he was kissing made forget why. He just moved his hand to the back of Sam's neck and pulled him as much as he could, the hand that rested on Sam's lap snaked up to clutch his hip. Why Sam made him like this, Dean didn't know, he thought there was no reasonable explanation that described why he went crazy with lust when he looked at his younger brother. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget that Sam was his brother, even though he knew he shouldn't. He momentarily caught hold of himself and managed to pry his lips away from Sam's, although he kept his hands in place. He was about to apologise and ramble on about alcohol altering his perception and babble some lies about how he doesn't know what came over him when Sam grabbed his hair and crushed their lips together again, and that was all it took for Dean to dismiss all of his rationalities.

He licked his way through Sam's mouth, twirling their tongues together as he straddled Sam's lap and creeped on top of him, fitting one of his legs between Sam's open ones. Being in the Impala made everything more difficult, more cramped, but Dean only thought of it as a good thing as it made their bodies squish together and it meant Sam would struggle to escape. Dean needed this now. He slid the tips of his fingers up and down Sam's hips, feeling him squirm with pleasure, before he finally gripped the bottom of Sam's shirt and yanked it upwards. The kiss broke while Dean shoved Sam's shirt over his head and then took off his own and threw them to the back seat. Dean looked Sam over, admiring his chiselled body, before ducking his head to suck on Sam's collar bone, drawing a moan from him. He kissed and licked and sucked all over Sam's neck and jaw, leaving marks with his mouth on his brother. He felt tantalized; being able to be so close to Sam. The fact that neither of them had a top on so Dean could feel Sam's chest against his own, could feel Sam's hands running over his back, made Dean instantly hard. He shifted lower and flipped his tongue over Sam's nipple, playfully. Dean heard Sam gasp and he started to suck and flick his tongue over his, apparently very sensitive, nipple until Sam was withering beneath him and muttering mostly incoherent words.

'Umph, Dean... oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. Feels so good Dean. Mmm, Dean, fucking hell. Shit, Dean, Dean...'

Dean's felt fingers brush at the skin at the bottom of his belly before they dipped under the waist band, ripping a load moan from him. Sam undid Dean's jeans and Dean dragged them, and his boxers down as far as he could, freeing his erection at last, and proceeded to do the same to Sam. First, he tugged his pants down and watched Sam bite his lip to stifle any sound he might make as Dean ran a hand over his cock through his boxers before he also slipped them down too. He then leaned forward to take Sam's lips in his own once again, and in doing so, rubbing their naked hard-ons together for the first time, making them moan into each other's mouths. Sam grabbed Dean's dick and ran his thumb over the slit.

'Fuck! Sammy...' Dean almost growled the words when he felt his brother begin to pump his fist 'Son of a bitch, ah, Sam! Oh god'

Dean knocked Sam's hand away, only to replace it with his own and grip Sam's cock too, holding them together. Dean began to manically thrust his hips, sliding his painfully hard erection against Sam's, grunting and listening to Sam's small pants as he thrust back. Dean had never felt more alive, he's wanted this so badly for so long, wanted to feel Sam's skin, lips, everything against him and he knew it was wrong, but he figured it was too late and pointless to turn back now. Sam was digging his nails into Dean's back and Dean began to feel the familiar tightening of his balls and the warmth in his stomach.

'Sammy, I'm gonna...'

'Oh god, me too'

Dean picked up the pace, the Impala rocking with them. Then all Dean could hear was Sam, nearly screaming, shouting Dean's name as he felt Sam spill over his hand. That pushed Dean over the edge, feeling Sam release for him, knowing he had made Sam orgasm. He bit down on Sam's shoulder to keep himself from screaming as he felt even more warm liquid pour onto his hand as he came, hard. Dean clung onto Sam, burying his face in Sam's chest and breathing in his scent as his body got over the aftershocks. _That was, fucking amazing. _It was one of the best orgasms Dean had ever experienced in his life, but once he was over it enough think straight, he remembered that it was because he was with his brother, not even that, his **drunken **brother, and guilt and shame swamped his mind once again. _I'm supposed to protect Sam, not molest him whilst he's too drunk to think about it for my own selfish needs._

Luckily, before Dean could get himself too shaken up, Bobby rang, telling them the job was done ages ago and demanding to know why they weren't back at his place. Both Sam and Dean shoved their clothes on at a lightning speed, Dean couldn't help but notice that Sam was being extremely careful not to make any contact what so ever and even avoiding looking at him and Dean was quick to punish himself with a string of harsh words when he felt disappointment and hurt pass through him upon observing Sam's actions. _What did you expect? You saw the look on his face when we kissed at Bobby's for fucks sake!_ Dean started to make the journey back to Bobby's, he decided it best to try keep as much distance from Sam as possible as they walked side by side, once again, in silence.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam admired Dean's arse as he watched his brother walk into Bobby's house. He thought he might as well look as much as possible before Dean gets up and leaves him in the morning, because Dean wouldn't be able to face him after what they just did. Sam smirked at the memory, but his expression instantly fell knowing he should have never allowed it to get that far. He stepped through the door way, following Dean, and tripped over the rug only just managing to catch himself on the wall and bring himself upright, swaying and giggling.

'Damnit Sam' the words fell from Dean's lips in a hiss as he approached and held Sam's elbow to steady him.

They both looked up simultaneously when they heard Bobby's voice.

'What the hell?' Bobby was practically growling. 'What's going on? What's wrong with Sam?'

'He uh, he's..' Dean attempted to answer for him when Sam opened his mouth to, but sniggered instead.

'He's bloody pissed isn't he? And you don't exactly look like a fucking spring meadow yourself. For god's sake boys! What did I tell you?'

'Yeah, I know Bobby, don't get pissed, but everything went ok, we still managed to call you. We're not idiots'

'What if that thing had come out of the house? After you two dumbasses? How far could you drive, or run without harming yourself in this state!'

'Yeah, yeah, ok Bobby, we're sorry. Won't happen agai-'

'Where the hell have you idgits been anyway?'

'We..' Sam started, but he felt Dean's elbow digging into his hip and fell silent and Bobby eyed them carefully.

'We went to look for some food' Dean finished, he was afraid Sam would accidently let it slip out, what he'd done to his little brother.

'Don't you lie to me boy' Bobby warned, sensing the tension between Sam and Dean from the way they awkwardly glanced at each other.

'What? So it's a crime to want pie now? Can't a man eat anymore, come on!' When Bobby didn't answer, Dean carried on 'Now, are you gonna tell us about this hunt or what?'

'I think it's time you boys went to bed' Sam felt Bobby's eyes on him and he heard the aggravation in Bobby's voice, and the sigh he let out. 'I'll tell you in the morning'

Sam could feel himself rocking back and forth as his eyes lulled back into his head. He let his heavy lids droop down because everything was swinging around and he felt like he was going to throw up any second. He groaned and Dean followed Bobby's stare to him when he hunched over a bit, resting his arm on Dean's shoulder.

'Yeah, you're probably right..' Dean was going to protest, but seeing his brother in such a state replaced his irritation with concern 'Come on Sammy'

Sam felt a hand on his back and suddenly he was walking, being led into a bedroom. He heard Bobby grunt, but it sounded fuzzy. The echo of footsteps and Dean's sarcastic whisper of 'yeah, good night to you too' rang in his head. He really needed to lie down was the only thought he could focus on. Well, that and _ugh never drinking again_.

He didn't remember reaching the bed, he just felt Dean forcing him down to sit on it. The fast change from a standing to sitting position made his head spin and he couldn't seem to prevent his head from toppling forwards into Dean's hip. He felt dazed as Dean's hands framed his face to pull it up. Sam smiled at Dean when their eyes met, and Dean gave a small, worried smile in return.

'Ok Sammy, time to sleep' Dean spoke softly and pushed Sam into a lying position at the same time.

'Get in with me' Sam laughed after saying it, for some reason not being able to control himself was hilarious.

'Go to sleep' Dean's voice sounded painful as he turned to sit on the chair, not wanting to leave the delirious Sam to sleep on the couch even though that would have been the more comfortable option.

'No Dean, I want you here' _Shit, why did I say that?_ Sam knew his drunk mind was allowing his desperation to seep through but when he heard the hurt in Dean's voice, he thought Dean was assuming he was deliberately trying to make him uncomfortable after the nights events when really, he was being deadly serious.

Sam watched as Dean's only response was to rub the heels of his hands into his eyes, lean back and close his eyes with a barely audible sigh. Rolling over, Sam felt the guilt building up inside him, thinking that his brother was acting so distressed because he was realising what they had, yet again, done. _He must think I'm disgusting. Why did I have to say that too? He's going to know, to work out how much I.. _Sam couldn't think of a suitable ending to that. Was it want? Need?... Love? Whatever the matter, he just carried on treating about how Dean must think he's a monster for actually taking advantage of him again. Sam finally fell asleep after he calmed himself down a bit by telling himself that Dean know that they are both drunk so will probably come to the conclusion that they are in the same predicament.

Little did Sam know, Dean looked so distressed because it was so damn difficult to reject Sam's request. All Dean wanted to do was hold him, but Dean didn't want Sam to wake up next to him because that would just freak him out even more than Dean thought he would be after he realises what Dean did to him.


	9. Chapter 9

_Sam felt the bed he was lay on wobble slightly, he rolled over to find Dean shimmying under the covers. Confusion winded through his brain and he lay still for, what he thought, was a moment too long before he realised Dean had probably gotten too uncomfortable on the chair, and wanted a turn on the bed. Sam started to shift backwards, trying to shuffle away from the cosy covers that had somehow intertwined with his legs in the night so he could make his way to the chair. He stopped trying to escape from Dean, who was so close it felt like his brain had short circuited, when Dean reached out and wrapped his hand around Sam's upper arm. _

_'No, stay...'m cold' Dean's sleep addled whisper was difficult to hear and Sam couldn't figure out if he'd imagined that or not._

_Sam stared at Dean who stared right back as he moved inwards, closing the gap between them, and snaked an arm around his waist. Didn't imagine the 'no, stay' that made his heart miss a beat then. Sam softly, yet involuntarily, moaned when Dean ran his fingers up his hip, to his neck in a feather light way that made his whole body tingle. He realised with a start that they were both only in their boxers. When the fuck did that happen? He kicked himself for moaning earlier and suddenly he felt hugely uneasy and he tried to push Dean away, not trusting himself. Dean, on the other hand, had different plans as he pulled Sam's face to his own until they were so close they could feel the heat radiating off each other. _

_'Please Sam, I've wanted you for so long...' Dean's lips brushed against Sam's as lightly as they possibly could when he spoke, the need clear in his voice._

_Sam couldn't take it any longer. He didn't understand why Dean was doing this; maybe he'd gone out and got drunk again and wasn't able to pick up any chicks so brought his horniness home. Whatever the reason was, he knew all he would never be able to resist Dean and he slowly leant in and pressed their lips together. Their kiss grew more and more fervent until they were both moaning and Sam let Dean hook a leg around his own legs to bring them closer, making their erections rub together. Dean's rough hand skimmed down Sam's body and he pushed two fingers under the waistband of his boxers. Sam broke away from the kiss, too overwhelmed to concentrate on it when he felt Dean's hand slip inside his underwear..._

'Rise and shine Sam!' He jolted awake from the sound of Dean's voice at the other side of the room.

Sam simply groaned and rolled onto his side, annoyed he'd been woken up at such an inconvenient time, his dream was just about to get to the good part.

'You were making some pretty happy noises over there dude'

Sam was yanked out of his sleepiness. The guilt hit him like a punch in the face and he curled up a little. _It' not like I can control what I dream about_. No matter how much Sam told that to himself, he still knew that his feelings were so much more than just a dream. But it wasn't even that, it was the fact that Dean had fucking heard him. _If he knew who I was dreaming about, he wouldn't be waking me up now, he'd be half way round the bloody world. _

'Come on Sam, we need to go. Bobby isn't exactly happy us after last night and we've got some sons of bitches to ice. Up' Dean's stern voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

'Right ok man, chill out I'm getting up now. What've we got this time?'

'Just a simple salt and burn deal, there's been a few reports spirits haunting a place in Wisconsin. Bobby already found all the details, says they're buried at the Green Lake cemetery.'

'We could've done that. Bobby didn't need to be up so early researching'

'It's 12pm dude' the chuckle that escaped Dean's lips warmed Sam's heart as he looked at the clock, trying to figure out what happened to the day. 'Not like you to be the lazy one, then again you practically drank your weight in vodka last night'

'Whatever' Sam pulled himself to a standing position but had to steady himself against the wall with one hand, as he massaged the temples of his head with the other, trying to will away the throbbing headache. 'So why did Bobby do all that'

'He said he knew you'd be in too shit of a state to do it but I think he just wants us out, he was pretty pissed.' Sam caught the bag that Dean threw at him in between sentences. 'Impala's all ready, let's go'

Sam groaned and clutched his stomach, feeling like it was twisting around and ripping apart.

'What is it Sammy, you wanna drive?'

_Ugh, jerk. _Sam threw his brother a glare that said 'are you fucking kidding me?' and Dean just laughed and started off towards the door. When Sam finally decided he wasn't too dizzy to walk, he went after Dean, who was already sitting in the Chevy, blaring Phantom Lord by Metallica through the car's speakers and singing along.

'Cut the crap and turn it down Dean, I've got a headache' he felt like he could kill someone, or die, as he stuffed himself into the Impala, sneering at Dean.

'Alright princess'

They drove for hours, in almost complete silence excluding the odd few short lived conversations about nothing. Sam couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not and he rested his head again the cool window, trying to sooth his nausea. He didn't really feel up to talking much, but the steady quiet meant that he had time to think, which was never good.


	10. Chapter 10

After just over six hours of driving, Dean pulled his beloved impala up on the gravelly parking lot outside the Green Lake Cemetery. He looked over at his sleeping brother and a smile crept across his face. Sam looked so peaceful, there was no pain to be seen in his features the way there was when he was awake, always worrying about this going dark side thing. Dean let his head fall against his seat as he watched Sam. Even though he might doubt Sam's goodness occasionally, he refused to let himself believe that such an amazing, whole hearted person could go dark side, no matter how broken he was. Tears threatened to pry their way out of Dean's eyes, but he kept them at bay. _Pull yourself together._ Dean was exhausted after the lengthy trip, but there was work to be done an in this line of work, he knew his own health was not a priority. He considered doing it on his own, not wanting to disturb Sam but he knew Sam would only sulk about it once he found out. He longed to reach out and brush his brothers out grown hair from his face and wake him with a kiss, but he knew he couldn't and settled for the normal. He was just a big ball of emotions today.

'Get up sunshine!'

Dean stared, perhaps with a little too much intensity, as Sam slowly wakened from his obviously deep sleep. Sam brushed his hair from his face with one hand, and Dean unwillingly squirmed, uncomfortable with the thoughts running through his head. _God, he looks sexy._ For some reason he felt like he might finally crack. He didn't know why, but right now all he wanted was Sam, and if he couldn't have him, what was the point in anything? He remembered last night, when Sam asked him to share a bed. He felt so much heartache at that point, wanting to give in so badly but he couldn't. He needed to protect Sam from himself and his twisted thoughts.

'Uh, Dean? Are you okay? What's going on?' Sam's voice sounded so innocent to Dean.

_Shit_. Dean quickly opened the door and jumped out. He really needed to snap out of this otherwise he might end up spilling his secret to Sam, then he wouldn't have him in any way possible because Sam would take off.

'Everything's peachy, oh except from the fact we have a couple of murderous spirits on our hands'

Sam followed Dean's lead and got out of the car and walked to the trunk where Dean was searching for supplies.

'Dean, that's a day by day occurrence for us. What's got you so on edge?'

'I'm just a little tired, I mean I've been driving for what feels like days with you snoring your ass off.' He took a pause to collect himself, he knew he was being a bit of a whiney bitch. 'Are you ok?'

'Yeah Dean... I'm fine'

Dean turned away, he couldn't stand the concern in Sam's eyes as he cocked his head to the side. Dean continued to rummage through the trunk of his baby. _Where's the fucking salt?!_. A shiver was sent down his spine as he felt Sam's large hand come to rest on his upper arm.

'Dean...'

'Leave it!'

Dean didn't even know what he could say to his brother. Sam was the only person in the world he would consider talking to about any problems and this was the one and only problem he couldn't talk about, especially with Sam. He just turned to look at Sam, giving him a warning look to get him off his case, shoved some supplies to his chest for him to hold, closed the trunk and walked towards the grave yard entrance.

The tension between them was almost unbearable, maddening. Dean clenched his fists; he wanted to smash one of the headstones to bits knowing this strain on their relationship was all down to him. He was the one who basically attacked Sam when they were drunk, and the one who pushed Sam away when they were sober. However, even though it was hard to convince himself of this; he knew it was for the best to not let himself get too close to Sam. He just needed to apply that same distance with alcohol too.

Luckily, the job consumed his mind and pulled him further away from the mental breakdown that was itching to take over. After scouring the grave stones for the names scrawled on a scrap of paper Bobby had handed to him, they eventually found the place where the bodies lay. They weren't buried at all, instead both bodies, who were apparently husband and wife, were contained in some sort of above ground crypt. Sam and Dean simultaneously dropped their unneeded shovels in the dirt as Dean forcefully kicked the doors in. He felt a bit of the built up rage leave and he let out a long held breath, through flared nostrils. He was extremely thankful there wouldn't be any digging to do, his arms were too weak to take that.

They set the first body alight, no questions asked, then moved to salt and burn the wife. They just about covered the lifeless, foul smelling form in salt and fuel before a spooky figure of a woman accumulated in the corner. Her skin was unearthly pale and she wore a long, flowing, dusty grey dress that gently shifted on the floor with the wind that came through the crypt doors. Her features were so soft and almost child-like. She was stunning, in a creepy sort of way. Her eyes, a deep forest green, stood out from everything else. They shone like all eyes do when they are filled with tears. With a loud slam, the heavy, rotting doors closed them in and they looked at each other in terror. All Dean wanted to do was take that fear away, but he didn't know how. He was just as shocked; things don't usually interrupt during a simple salt and burn.

'Sam, hurry up and light the damn thing on fire!'

Sam fumbled with the matches desperately as the sinister woman moved closer, tears falling from her glassy eyes and she began to speak.

'What have you done to my husband?' she whispered eerily, sort of whining, at first before she repeated herself, this time her words were a bloodcurdling shout.

Sam let go of the newly lit match and the coffin burst out in flames, clawing their way upwards as the ghostly woman screamed and lunged at Sam. Dean's heart must have jumped into his throat because all of a sudden he felt suffocated and he could hear the blood pumping through his veins as he watched the horrifying scene in front f his eyes. The daunt spirit's yellowing fingernails grew a few inches longer and her previously beautiful facial features turned gruesome. Dean's defend Sammy at all costs mode came into action and he gripped Sam and pushed him against the stone wall, covering his brother with his own body, earning himself a sharp scratch on his arm from the deadly wife before she too, went up in flames.

Dean's breathing came out in short gasps. He didn't care about the pain shooting through his arm, he just needed to know Sam was okay. He lifted his face to look at Sam's. _Bad idea. _Their lips were mere centimetres from each other, their noses brushed ever so lightly at the tips and Dean could feel Sam's warm, inviting breaths on his face. He longed to lean in. He willed himself to move, to escape from this before he did something wrong, but he found himself getting lost in Sam's doughy eyes. The love he felt trapped him, he was so close to Sam, yet so far from what he really wanted and that hurt so much. He lifted his hand up and brushed Sam's hair from his face before tracing his fingers down the soft skin of Sam's cheek. _Stop now._

'Dean?...'

_Shit no._ Dean forced himself to get away. He slammed Sam against the wall, perhaps a lot more harshly than he intended to because he heard Sam let out a sharp breath. But he had to push himself backwards, and then he bolted from the crypt. The crisp breeze on Dean's skin was welcomed like a warm meal to a homeless person. He sucked in, enjoying the freshness. He was sure Sam would figure everything out. Figure out how Dean was having these sick, twisted thoughts. Hell, Sam was smart enough. That thought terrified Dean more than any supernatural being ever could because that would mean Sam leaving. He felt a bit of bile rise up but he swallowed it back down. Dean's mind was flooded with images of Sam thrashing and moaning in his sleep this morning. That was certainly something he didn't want to think about because that meant he had to remember that he'd touched himself, actually touched himself, while watching his brother. That was a whole new level of wrongness. It couldn't get more disturbing than that. A cold sweat overcame him, Dean had never felt so ashamed and this time, he did clutch his stomach, bend over and vomit.

The only good thing that he could think of was that Sam hadn't seen any of that because that would have brought up more unanswerable questions that he just couldn't deal with right now. When Sam did come out of the crypt, Dean just simply picked up the supplies and headed for the car, knowing Sam would follow.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam's mind was made up. He'd had the fifteen minute journey from the grave site to yet another cheap, run down motel they were staying at to think it through. That length of time didn't really seem enough, he wanted to stew over this for so much longer, but in the end, he knew it would always come down to one thing, would always get the same answer.

He decided that he would resolve this whole 'lusting after his brother' thing when he saw the horror in Dean's eyes back at the crypt. The horror that had formed from being within such close proximity to him. Sam thought that he must have let his guard down and leaned in a little because Dean looked absolutely disgusted and Sam's back ached from being shoved into the hard wall. And to top it all off, Dean went and puked outside. But Dean didn't know that Sam had seen that, and he was going to keep it that way. After all, Dean was only trying to spare his feelings because Dean didn't want to let his little brother know that all that stuff they'd done when they were drunk was taking its toll. Naturally, Sam blamed himself. He knew Dean didn't blame him, they were both drunk, but he thought that Dean should blame him because he was the one having these sick feelings. He was the one that wanted and enjoyed what they did when they drank. Maybe he truly was evil. He was supposed to go dark side, right? Obviously loving your brother wasn't exactly what everyone had in mind when 'dark side' was mentioned. But it wasn't particularly good either. The one thing Sam didn't understand was that sometimes, he got really angry, he couldn't think of much besides the rage and, in those moments, he believed that he probably was destined to be something more sinister and Dean should just shoot him like a dog. However, when Dean was around, everything was so much better. He just felt safer and like he would never do anything wrong, would fight his damned hardest against the demons and what not, all for Dean, because Dean gave him the strength to keep trying. So, why was loving Dean so wrong when Dean made him feel more human?

Even with that in mind, in the car, Sam came up with a plan; he would tell his brother how he felt, and then he would leave. It seemed like a good decision, because Dean's head was already getting messed up from what they had been doing and it wasn't like Sam hadn't noticed how Dean had been avoiding eye contact and flinching every time they accidentally touched since Bobby's. Those actions made Sam come to the conclusion that Dean would be a lot happier and be more comfortable without him. Originally, Sam's plan was to simply take off and leave Dean to it so he wouldn't be burdened with thinking about everything. But with deeper consideration, Sam decided that his brother wouldn't let him leave without a suitable explanation. For a while, he thought about sneaking out at night or lying to Dean about why he had to leave but then he realised Dean would only know and come after him, which would be a waste of his time. Also, Dean most probably blamed himself for what had been going on between them. Dean did always take the responsibility. So, this is when Sam's mind became set on telling his brother how he really felt. Mainly because he didn't want Dean to feel like he was running away because of what Dean had done, which wasn't true in the slightest because it was his fault, not Dean's. But also partly because he just wanted to get it out in the open, this big secret was driving him crazy and he didn't think he could hold it in much longer. Images of Dean's disgusted face flew through Sam's mind, along with pictures of Dean's hand flying at his face. He knew Dean was sure to throw some punches. Sam flinched internally; just thinking about the complete rejection he was to receive made his heart break. He really didn't want to leave knowing Dean hated him, but he had to because he knew it would make everything so much easier on Dean. Dean wouldn't have to come looking for him because, who would come looking for an incestuous monster? Sam constantly worried about the yellow eyed demon and what he apparently had in store for him, because he would never forgive himself if he went down the wrong path, even if it was just a misjudgement. Sure, it would be hard to stay on track without Dean by his side. But it was for the best.


	12. Chapter 12

This is the last chapter, and it's quite long (sorry). I will be changing some chapters around and adding some together to make everything a bit more even when I have the time. I think there'll be seven chapters when I'm done.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who took the time to read this! It was just kind of a practice to get me into this fanfic thing, I am writing some stories with more of a plot. Hope it wasn't too terrible!

* * *

Sam unloaded the impala with overnight stuff for both him and Dean while said brother ordered a room with two queens. After Sam watched Dean as he fumbled in his pockets for the key, they strolled in and he dropped their bags down on one of the beds. His eyes automatically scanned the room which had ghastly floral wallpaper pathetically plastered up. It contained nothing but a rickety wooden table with un matching, close to breaking chairs, a gruesome looking fridge which he certainly wasn't going to eat out of and a lamp in between the two beds, which compared to the rest of the room didn't look too bad, at least they looked like the sheets had been cleaned. There was also a door which, hopefully, leads to a bathroom, but from the state of the main room, Sam didn't have any desire to look at what abominations lay behind that door. This place was more of a disappointment than normal.

'Ugh, Dean, this place is a dump.' Sam sighed.

The only answer Sam heard for a while was a grunt. He was about to make another attempt at conversation; he desperately needed some normalness before Dean couldn't stand him anymore, but Dean got there first.

'I'm going out, don't wait up for me'

_Crap._

'No, Dean, you can't!'

'Ha, you're not my damn wife Sam' The sneer in Dean's voice hurt Sam in a way he couldn't explain, but he loosened up a little when h carried on 'why exactly can't I go out and have a little fun?'

_Shit._ He had no idea what to say. He hadn't planned on opening up to Dean yet, in fact, he couldn't. Not yet. He wasn't ready. He needed time for them to just be brothers before he was nothing to Dean but a punch bag. Sam didn't really think he could ever be absolutely 100% nothing to Dean, not really, but it was easier to think that than to think he had the slightest chance of being anything because he had to leave. That's when he noticed the blood staining Dean's T-shirt.

'Because I have to get you stitched up first. That's a pretty bad gash' He gestured to Dean's arm where blood was trickling downwards.

'I'm fine'

'Stop being such a cry baby, it won't hurt' Sam forced out a weak smile, or course he could never really be happy right now 'besides, it will only take a few minutes'

Dean grabbed a chair and swooped it round, then swung his leg over it so he could rest his arms on the back of it.

'Come on then... and don't fuck it up'

A grin played across Dean's face, and Sam was split down the middle; he was ecstatic that Dean was smiling, but it was that same smile that he would never see again and that thought practically tore his heart out. Ignoring the emotional battle within him, he collected the things needed to stitch up Dean and got to work. He didn't let himself get distracted by the fact he had to touch Dean's arm quite a lot to get this done effectively, instead he focused on how precious this small amount time was. Every so often Dean would let out a hiss through gritted teeth, to which Sam would mumble an apology but smile at because he found it adorable how Dean was trying to not let on when it hurt and act all manly. When he was done, he poured what little alcohol they had over it and started on his mission to convince Dean not to go out. He needed him here so they could talk, and if he was honest, he really hated the thought of Dean going away and flirting with all the pretty girls at the bar.

'Dean, you've been working your ass of lately, maybe you should give yourself a rest?'

'Alright'

'What?'

'I said alright, I guess I'll stay in tonight, I'm pretty damn exhausted'

'Oh'

Sam nodded his head in what must have looked like agreement, but really he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing, he was just befuddled, he'd expected to have to and had prepared to beg Dean to stay. But whatever, this was much easier. Apart from the fact he had to have the dreaded conversation now. _Maybe it can wait until tomorrow, Dean is pretty tired, don't wanna add to the stress_. Sam pondered over this, but eventually concluded that the longer he waits, the harder it will get. _Just get it over with. _Sam half walked, half shuffled over to the bed Dean was now sitting on, back against the headboard, feet stretched in front. He noticed how Dean was carefully eyeing him as he sat down on the bed in the same position. Something must have dyed inside of him because he felt ready to cry when Dean moved away from him when their arms touched. He held himself together though; this wasn't exactly anything new, Dean had been avoiding him for days. But, this was their last day together and Sam longed to get closer again, but he knew Dean would only move away.

'You have your own bed you know sasquatch'

Sam thought heard awkwardness in Dean's words, and he knew he definitely saw it in the small forced smile Dean threw his way. He despised himself for making Dean feel so uncomfortable around him now.

'Dean, we need to talk'

'Oh come on! I'm tired, can't we act out the chick flick tomorrow?' Dean hesitated for a moment then spoke again, with clear nervousness. 'What's there to talk about anyway?'

'I'm leaving'

'What? What do you mean you're leaving? Leaving where to? Sam, are you in trouble? What's wrong?'

Suddenly Dean was close again, holding Sam's shoulder. Sam knew he probably shouldn't have lead with that, it just got Dean all worried and worked up, but he wasn't ready to say those forbidden, twisted words yet. Besides, it felt good to have Dean being all close and protective over him this one last time.

'No, I'm not in any trouble, I swear, it's just..it's...I have to get away'

_Damnit! Spit it out!. _Sam had never hated himself more than when he saw the look on Dean's face turn from worry to despair. Dean more or less leaped off the bed in an effort to get away. This was hurting Dean, making him believe that Sam was leaving because he didn't want to be with him anymore, when in fact, it was the total opposite. Nevertheless, soon Dean would know the truth and the despair would quickly change to hatred. Sam was sure of that. Sam slid from the bed and crossed the room to Dean.

'Dean, I'm sorry, it's just..'

'Just what Sam?!' Dean spat the word like they were poison. 'I know things have been a bit messed up recently, but you're all I've got you can't just run away like when you left us for college! I need you man'

'You won't be saying that when you know why I'm leaving'

'Well go on then, enlighten me'

'This thing between us, you know, when we get drunk, well it's'

Dean cut him off.

'That's why you're leaving?' Dean's voice sounded unusually wobbly. 'Come on Sam, we were drunk'

'For god's sake! We kissed, brothers don't do that. And we didn't only kiss either.'

'Shut up! We don't need to talk about this. It won't happen again.'

'ugh, you always do this. Shutting away your feelings so you can be the macho soldier dad wanted. You pretend this doesn't affect you but I can see all of this makes you uncomfortable the way you flinch when we touch, avoid eye contact, and speak as little as possible.'

'Yeah, you're right Sam. And I'm sorry for everything that's gone on, but if I can get past it, so can you!' Dean's words were laced with anger and Sam felt slightly afraid because, if this is how Dean reacted now, he couldn't begin to imagine what Dean would do once Sam told him the whole truth.

'It's not your fault Dean' Sam sighed heavily, pinched the bridge of his nose and then ran his hands over his face before looking at his brother. He didn't really want to see the hate on Dean's face but he knew eye contact was essential here. 'It's more than that.'

'What more is there? We got drunk and kissed and I'm sorry. End of it. I'm not having this conversation anymore.'

'No, Dean.' This was it. _Here goes. _'I... I liked it.' Sam felt ashamed of himself, mainly because well, he wants his brother but also because he only managed to get those few words out when he needed to tell Dean exactly what all of this was about.

'What?' The disbelieve and shock in Dean's voice would have been evident to even a slab of metal.

'What we did, I enjoyed it. I could have easily stopped it most times, but I didn't even though I knew you were too out of it to know what was going on. But I knew what was going on and I fucking wanted it. I still do. Not even just when we're drunk Dean. I want you and that's just sick and disgusting and disturbing because we're family, but I have for a long time. For years. I tried to hide it, never wanted you to find out what a freak I am, but when we kissed I just lost all my control. I swear, I tried to ignore it but I just can't anymore! You are all I can think about, and I need to get away before I lose my mind or we get drunk again and I take it too far. I couldn't do that to you. There'd be no going back. I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to do but leave, not that you care anymore. Hell, you probably can't wait until I'm gone now. I love you in a way that is far from brotherly.'

Sam stopped himself, knew he was just rambling but he'd wanted to let all of that out for so long, he felt a little relived at first before the wave of utter sadness and a feeling of emptiness hit him so hard he thought he might just throw up. The love he felt for Dean, his hero, his protector, the only person that had ever been there for him was so strong. And sick. Sam gave up fighting the tears trying to push their way out. What was the point in stopping it? The one person he could truly depend on is turning against him. His emotions were going crazy and the tears rolled down his cheeks and soaked them. Dean said nothing during all of this. Sam's mind was going into overdrive, he didn't understand why Dean wasn't saying anything, why he was just standing there with an unreadable expression, staring.

'Well go on then! Let me have it. Tell me how messed up I am. I can't stand you not saying anything. I understand that you hate me now, I do. After all, I'm a freak and not just because of this yellow eyes psychic thing. Hit me, go on! Please do something, anything! Take a swing! It will make you feel better.'

Without warning, Dean abruptly strode over to Sam, invading his personal space. Sam desperately wanted to back away, to flee from the room. He'd never seen Dean look so belligerent, the look on his face alone seemed enough to kill. Having to live without Dean seemed like an impossibly daunting task alone, but the thought that Dean would surely beat him to near death, almost made him wish Dean wouldn't stop at near. It was too much to handle. It's not like he hasn't taken more that his fair share of punches in his time. He'd even been hit by Dean before, so he knew how much it hurt. Not physically, but every time Dean hit him, his heart broke because he trusted Dean so damn much. Still, Sam stood his ground and mentally prepared for the beating that couldn't come soon enough, the only made his dear grow. _I deserve this. Just hurry up. Please. I deserve it. I'm repulsing. Evil. I deserve it._

'I could never hate you Sammy.'

Dean's voice was barely even a whisper, and the mixed emotions seeping into it seemed so raw. _What? That's what he was angry about?!_ Sam couldn't get his mind around it, shocked beyond belief. He was baffled as to why his brother wasn't lashing out with physical violence. The only answer he could think of was that Dean didn't believe him, thought he was saying it as an excuse to get away. Dean would take those words that meant so much back. Sam was about to reinforce his confession when he felt warm, wet lips of his own.

Sam was so far past flabbergasted that he just stopped working. His mind went blank and his body went rigid whilst Dean pressed their lips together and one hand to the back of Sam's neck and the other to Sam's neck, dragging him closer. Sam stood wide eyed for what felt like years before he finally found himself and pushed Dean away.

'Dean? wha...'

Sam's sluggish words were cut off by another peck to his lips that made his stomach flutter.

'I feel the same.'

Now, Sam was pretty sure they'd have to come up with a new word for the emotions he was feeling. Love, bewilderment, shock, lust, ecstasy, all jumbled into one that was about one thousand times multiplied than anything he'd ever felt. He stood in a slump. _Is this a joke? _Sam's mind was filled to the brim of doubt and denial because there was no way this could ever happen. He wouldn't have expected this in a million years. Sam looked at Dean, who was cautiously studying him, and he decided no, this wasn't a joke, Dean wouldn't do that. The love and concern he found on display Dean's eyes confirmed that. But that brought a whole new, equally distressing question. _What do I do now? _He couldn't function properly, thoughts raced through his mind like some kind of stampede. He wanted to do a lot of things. Kiss Dean, jump out a window, run away, shout, laugh, cry, dance, faint. He thought about Dean's word again and became dramatically close to laughing because, it was so like Dean to express his feelings in the least amount of words possible. Sam had practically ripped open his chest and put his heart on full view, expecting it to get kicked to the wall, and Dean had simply uttered four words and Sam had become dumbfounded and he did let a slight chuckle slip that must have made him look a bit like a maniac if the look Dean was giving him was anything to go by. In the end though, he decided to kiss Dean again.

He latched onto Dean's leather jacket and yanked him closer, placing his lips over Dean's with full force. He felt Dean's hands tighten their grip. It felt like there was nothing else but them. Their bodies were so firmly pressed against one another, he could hardly breathe, but god, it felt so good. The pleasure, love, happiness, lust, acceptance and need was overpowering as he gently slid his tongue over Dean's bottom lip, pleading for entrance. Dean's parted his lips slightly, giving Sam what he wanted, and he slid his tongue in. At first the kiss was deep, but gentle. Sensually slipping their tongues over each over, giving in to their filthy, long held back desires. Gradually the kiss became more desperate and before long all he could feel was a mess of lips and tongue and teeth as he licked into Dean's mouth, tasting him, thinking no one he's ever kissed has ever came any were near as amazing as this, nothing was ever this passionate. His bottom lip was sucked into Dean's mouth, who nibbled and drew a moan from Sam. He shoved Dean up against the motel wall and crushed himself onto Dean's body, trying to get closer even though it was impossible to. The kiss they shared went on as Sam wrenched Dean's jacket off, then moved his hands to Dean's waist under his T-shirt. He rolled his thumbs over Dean's skin and thrust his hips, rubbing their obvious arousals together and making Dean gasp and try to pull Sam closer, one hand still on his neck, the other now over the curve of his ass, before Dean unexpectedly pushed Sam away.

'What are we doing?'

'What? Dean?... We're kissing.'

'Your my brother, we shouldn't.'

_No. Please just no. You can't do this. Not now. Not now that I know we both want this. Please don't._ Sam needed Dean, he tried extremely hard not to shout or cry or just generally break down at Dean's words.

'Why the hell shouldn't we? All our lives are spent in misery so we can protect the people around us, and they die anyway! Why can't we have this? We deserve to be happy for once.'

Hoping that he got through to Dean and convinced him; he leant in for another kiss, wanting so badly for Dean to stop talking. Much to his dismay, Dean turned his head away, avoiding eye contact.

'I, I just can't Sam, I'm sorry.' Dean's words dripped with pain.

'Please don't say that, not now'

'I'm sorry, I can't, It's wrong, we're brothers, so wrong'

Sam recognised the tremor in Dean's ramble and instantly knew he was just afraid. He would do everything he could to take that fear away because he can't let go of this now, knowing how marvellous it felt to have Dean love him.

'Dean, everything we do it wrong. You do know using fake ID's and posing as the FBI is illegal right?' Sam tried to joke to lighten the mood.

'You're my little brother Sam; I can't do this to you. I've already ruined you. You could have been happy and had an apple pie life like you wanted but no, I came to you because of my own selfish need to be with you. I should have let you be. I'm supposed to protect you for god's sake! If I can't even do that what's my purpose?'

'I'm a big boy now, I can look after myself. Besides, this doesn't mean you can't carry on protecting me. This is what we both want.' Sam paused to grip Dean's jaw and force his brother to look at him. 'Listen to me Dean. This isn't hurting me in anyway, you leaving now would though. And, I don't want that life anymore. I want you. Always been you. I missed you so much all those years I was with Jess. I've never been happier or felt safer or more at home than when I'm with you. This is what I want now.'

In one swift movement, he softly kissed Dean's swollen lips again, and Dean let him.

'Just stop thinking so much. Relax.'

Sam let go of Dean's face and placed his hands back over Dean's waist. He gave Dean a moment to recollect his thoughts, and could see the internal war going on in his beautiful, glassy eyes. He peppered Dean's face in light kissing, showing his love in a crucial quest to take away Dean's angst. He fisted the bottom of Dean's T-shirt and lifted it over his head, then kissed and sucked and bit Dean's neck, marking him. Dean let out a shaky moan and followed suit; pulling Sam's top off, but with trembling hands. Sam understood, he really did. The two things Dean was notorious for was his lively sex life and protecting Sam and he knew Dean was having a hard time choosing between the two. He was adamant to make Dean realise he could do both, and it seemed to be working because Dean didn't back down again.

Sam fell to his knees in front of Dean, undid Dean's belt, button and zipper and pushed the jeans and boxers down to Dean's calves. He'd never seen this before. Yeah, there was that time in the car near Bobby's, but that was more feeling that seeing. His cock twitched at the memory of that. And, there had been times when they were younger when one of them would walk out of the bathroom, full frontal, thinking they were alone. But that wasn't the same. For starters neither had been hard in those times and the sight of Dean now made him hornier than ever, he ached to wrap his lips around his brother's dick. He looked up at Dean, who was staring right back with lust. Sam took that as consent and took Dean's member into his hand, pumping it gently before giving the tip and open mouthed kiss. He licked a stripe from the base of to the tip, drawing a loud moan from Dean. He took in only the head, making his tongue flick against the slit and sucked whist massaging Dean's balls in one hand and pumping the base with the other.

'Stop being such a tease Sam! Suck me!'

He smiled around Dean's cock and looked up at Dean through his eyelashes. Dean was panting heavily, looking a bit tense. Sam noticed how Dean's hand was gripped tightly to the table next to them, making his knuckles white and one pushed flat against the wall, like he was restraining himself from touching Sam. He'd change that soon enough. Whilst still fondling Dean's balls, he took in Dean's length as far as he could, keeping one hand at the base to give Dean a deep throating like experience. Then he hollowed out his cheeks and came back up to the head, all the while swiping his tongue around Dean, concentrating mainly on the slit which was oozing pre cum.

'Holy shit, Sam!'

Sam felt Dean's hands come to the back of his head and grip his hair as he bobbed up and down, always keeping eye contact to watch Dean's reactions. For some reason, this was extremely arousing and he let out a groan around Dean's dick which must have made some vibrations because Dean was moaning louder than ever. Dean gritted his teeth, obviously trying to restrain himself from fucking Sam's mouth. He was glad of that seen as he'd never given a blow job before, and he admired Dean for successfully restraining because he knew if the roles were switched, he probably wouldn't have the will power to do so. But that was Dean, always looking out for him. Sam got into a steady pace but felt Dean push his head down, urging him to go faster, so he guessed Dean was probably close to his climax. He pulled off with an obscene 'pop' and the whine Dean let out at the loss made him grin like a fool.

'I don't want you to come yet.' He was surprised at how husky his voice sounded. 'I want you to fuck me Dean'

Dean threw his head back, groaned and hauled Sam up to a standing position with his hair.

'You're gonna be the death of me, hearing things like that come out of your pretty mouth gets me all tingly Sammy'

With that, Sam was pulled into another erotic kiss. Dean ran his hands through Sam's hair repeatedly, gripping and stroking while sucking and biting at his lips. Sam smirked into the kiss, Dean wasn't complaining about his 'in desperate need of a cut Sasquatch hair' now.

'You don't seem to mind my hair as much as you say' Sam chuckled against Dean's mouth.

'I wanted you to cut it, so I wouldn't be distracted, thinking about this' Dean licked the line of Sam's jaw and nibbled his earlobe before growling a whisper 'Never getting it cut'

All at once, Sam felt himself being walked backwards towards one of the queen beds while Dean fiddled with this belt and pants, determined, it seemed, to get rid of the offending garments. The backs on his knees hit the edge of the bed and he let himself fall onto it, propping himself up on his elbows as he watched Dean rapidly remove his pants and boxers. Sam felt heat rise to his cheeks as he saw Dean's eyes scan over his body, stopping at his erection. He'd never felt more on display and he wished that Dean would get on the bed already instead of just inspecting him with that hungry expression and licking his lips, an action that made Sam's cock jump a little.

'Love seeing you getting all flustered, so cute. No need to be embarrassed though. I'm shocked' Dean threw a wink at Sam 'You're so big'

That only resulted in Sam blushing even more and he turned his head to avoid Dean's gaze whilst he shuffled up the bed a bit, hopefully indicating he wanted Dean to join him. Apparently, Dean got the memo because, in a flash, Dean was on top of him, taking his lips into his own once again. Their overheated skin rubbed together with the most delicious friction imaginable. All thoughts of anything but Dean flew out of the window as Dean reached over to the bed side table and pulled out a small bottle of lube, and poured some onto his fingers whilst giving Sam the sexiest smile he'd ever seen. Sam opened his legs as Dean rubbed his hands together. Dean crawled up in between his legs and gave him another hot kiss before moving lower to flick a tongue over his nipple. After licking around it for a while, Dean sucked on his nipple, he arched his back into the overwhelming touch and his hands flew to Dean's head to keep it there. _Holy shit feels so good. _He felt Dean take his cock into one of his hands and pump, twisting his wrist on the up stroke and swiping his thumb over the slit, the lube making it easier and enhancing the pleasure. If Sam had ever been jerked off in a better way, he couldn't remember it. He couldn't believe they could have been doing this the whole time, he thought about how much time they' wasted and he was about to ask Dean why he never said anything when he realised that it was probably the same reason he never said anything. What a stupid question that would have been.

Dean took that moment to teasingly brush a finger over his hole, sending a shiver up his spine and ripping a moan from his throat. He assumed Dean was testing the waters, making sure this was okay, so he reassured him.

'Do it Dean, please, need you'

'Mmm hearing you beg does terrible things to me'

Dean slid one finger in and out again, finding a rhythm. It felt odd, but in a good way. When Dean slipped a second finger in two, there was a slight burning sensation but it soon went away when Dean crooked up his fingers to brush over that sensitive sweet spot. Sam nearly leapt of the bed in pleasure, a string of curse words in between moans falling from his lips.

'Love the way you moan'

Dean got three fingers in and stretched Sam.

'Can't wait to get my cock inside you, Sammy'

He always imaged Dean would be a dirty talker with all the porn he watched, and he was so glad he was right. He could probably come from listening to Dean alone. Especially when Dean called him Sammy.

'Gonna fuck you so hard little brother'

Sam moaned, hearing the words 'little brother' in this situation really should not be this arousing. _I'm so messed up_. But at least, he thought, he wasn't the only one.

'Gonna fuck you into the mattress, you're gonna feel this for days'

'Please Dean, now, need it'

'Need what baby boy, want you to tell me'

Apparently he really liked pet names, because when Dean called him things like 'baby boy' or 'Sammy' his cock twitched. But maybe he only liked them because it was Dean saying them. Dean's fingers were still inside him and he hooked his legs around Dean's waist.

'Need you to fuck me. Please Dean. Want you inside me, please'

'You moan and beg like a slut'

Dean removed his fingers and spread some more lube on them to slick up his cock before lining it up with Sam's hole. Sam saw the question in Dean's eyes when Dean looked at him. As much as Dean seemed to want this, he would always make sure Sam did too.

'You okay?'

'Yeah Dean, 'm ready'

'You sure? It um, it might hurt'

He found Dean's eyes again and saw doubt. He put one hand on Dean's waist and used the other to pull Dean's head down and press their lips together in the softest way.

'I trust you' another kiss, a bit deeper this time 'Want you'

With that, Dean slowly pushed the head in, and then went deeper until he was all the way in. Sam felt an intense burning sensation. Dean didn't move, he revelled in the feeling of being in Sam, and he wanted to give Sam the opportunity to get used to it. Sam tried to push past the pain as Dean placed his hands on either side of Sam's head. Sam noticed Dean watching him carefully, and it must have been obvious that this was hurting a bit because Dean started to stroke his hair in a soothing fashion. Once most of the burning had subsided, Sam started to move his hips up and down, trying to get Dean to move. Dean got the message and stated to thrust, gently at first, but soon picked up the pace when Sam started moaning and begging for it to be faster, harder. Everything felt so amazing now, just pure pleasure.

'You feel so good Sammy, so tight'

Dean slammed into Sam over and over, thrusting his rapidly. The worn out bed below them creaked loudly, springs straining to keep their weight and the headboard mildly knocked the wall behind it. They were both panting and moaning each other's names along with a string of other barely coherent things louder than ever as Dean kept fucking Sam into oblivion, hitting his prostate every few thrusts and nearly making Sam scream. For a brief moment, he felt sorry for their neighbours in this motel, but when Dean scraped over that perfect spot again he couldn't really care less about anyone else. He felt a familiar heat in his stomach and his balls tightened when Dean started to caress his length again.

'Dean... I'm gonna... so close'

'Oh god, me too Sammy, shit. Come for me baby'

And he did, arching off the bed and scratching Dean's back, he shot ropes of hot white come all over his and Dean's stomachs and chests, screaming Dean's name as he did so.

'Holy fuck, so pretty, oh god'

Dean pressed his face into the hollow between Sam's neck and shoulder as he came inside Sam, moaning his brother's name like the whore he accused said brother of being just before. Sam held Dean as he slid out and collapsed on top of him, both of them breathing hard and light headed from their orgasms. After they came out of that blissful stage after the incredible high, Sam watched Dean get a towel from the bathroom and he let Dean clean him up. When Dean first got up, Sam's heart nearly pounded out of his chest in panic, thinking that Dean had realised what they'd done and was leaving him. Luckily this wasn't the reality. Dean picked up the sheets and got between them with Sam, pulling the covers up after he was comfortable. Sam was gobsmacked, he never thought Dean would consider doing something as girly as cuddling yet here he was, with Dean's arms wrapped around him and his wrapped around Dean and his face lay on Dean's chest. He could feel Dean's soft breath against the top of his head and he couldn't help but smile, he'd never felt so complete, but he still fretted over what Dean was thinking.

'Dean, you're not having second thoughts are you?'

'If I was do you think I'd be lay here with you?' Dean scoffed, mocking Sam.

'Jerk'

'Bitch'

Dean's hand fiddled with Sam's hair for about ten minutes and Sam was teetering on the edge of sleep.

'Love you Sam.'

Sam's heart skipped a beat, or it might have stopped all together, he wasn't sure, but he seriously couldn't believe Dean had said that. They never even said that in a brotherly way.

'Love you too Dean' It was barely even a whisper through his shock, but Dean must have heard it because Sam felt Dean's lips curl into a smile on his head before giving him a peck and they both drifted into a heavenly sleep.


End file.
